Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Love Life After Children

When Squire and I were engaged, I remember looking at the families in my ward back home. Sitting in their pews together on Sunday. As I looked across the room I felt a pang of sadness, and a tinge of horror - in almost every pew the husband sat one end with his wife at the farthest end away from him - and all their children in between! Where was the hand-holding?! The arm around the shoulder or waist?! The affectionate glances?! Why did they all look so tired and harried?! Was THIS terrible fate to be mine with the arrival of children?! NEVER! I had vowed. 

In a completely unrelated story . . . at church on Sunday, I sat holding Lincoln firmly on my lap. Squire was sitting to my right, when I felt it. His hand reaching for mine. In the sweet tender way we had when we were dating. You know how it is - the slight tender brush of the fingertips on the soft side of your palm. Being surprised and delighted by the sweet gesture from my attentive husband, I reached back toward his hand with my own and started to play the hand version of "footsies." I began to tickle his hand with my own and to lace fingers with his in a quiet intimate way, but was stopped - by the cheerio he'd really been trying to give me to feed to Lincoln all along. We had to stifle our laughter upon the awkward discovery. We fed the cheerio to Lincoln, and decided to just hold hands anyways. Well we tried to hold hands before Lincoln decided it was time to play wiggle worm 20 seconds later . . . and for the rest of church.

Yeah. That cheerio was my small young family's equivalent of the four children in between, wasn't it? 

For the record though, I still think my husband is attentive and sweet - even though the cheerios and sleepless nights that accompany parenthood have dulled the luster of a romantic moment or two for us. For Christmas, Squire gifted me enrollment in a six week ceramics class. Throwing pottery has been a love of mine, but I haven't had the opportunity to do it for several years. And yesterday I was able to go and throw pottery on the wheel for a few hours, baby free, worry free. My sore forearms are constant reminder to me of the thoughtful gift of my husband, and of my need to build up my arm strength before my next class. ;) Oh life!


  1. LOL- love it! Dave and I try to sit next to each other in sacrament meeting whenever possible. Some weeks are easier than others. But I think holding hands is one of the best ways to just remind ea other that the love is still there. :) Even if it is on and off for that 30 minutes. lol Flirting is so important, esp after we're married...well...to our spouses right?! lol

    I LOVE throwing pottery too! Dave bought me a friday night pass to some place here in town. Where is your class? Maybe I should email you! :)

  2. This post reminded me of the post I made on my blog about marriage after kids: http://whatsupfagans.blogspot.com/2011/09/marriage-after-kids.html

    When you mentioned the couple with the kids between them, it could possibly be because they are playing goalie. With more than one child, especially toddlers, it's what you have to do - keep them from escaping! BUT, Josh and I still like to sit next to each other and hold hands during church. And once the kiddos go off to nursery it's awesome! You get to snuggle next to each other again!

  3. Oy! Steve and I never get to sit together anymore. When we do actually try, Max is so outraged that we are not sitting in our usual seats that we have to move back to our usual positions in order to preserve the "reverent" atmosphere.
    Wo, unto you if your child will not go to nursery! Miles is almost 2 now and still won't go. The times we've tried to drop him off the nursery leaders inevitably bring him screaming back.



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