Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Pedestrians, Garbage Disposals, and Other Things that Scare Me

Who knew garbage disposals were such a terrible thing?
 You know that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach that you get when someone announces,

"Hey! No one turn on the garbage disposal - I have my hand in here right now!"

Oh! That sends a cold shake up my back, every time. Even now just thinking about it as I sit to type this I'm squirming in my chair and scruntching up my face in disgust and anxiety - I just can't get that image of what turning a garbage disposal while someone's hand was in it would actually do . . .

You know something else? Every time I get into my car, I lock my doors - about three times. And, every time I see a pedestrian within the range of 500 ft. of my car, I lock the doors again - about five times. It doesn't matter how unsuspicious the character may be: grey-haired ladies in wheel chairs, young clean-cut freshman girls on a run, skinny little bearded metro guys wearing large square glasses - they all get the same treatment. I can't explain why I do it - it really is just one of my personal irrational phobias. When I see a pedestrian, images of being attacked from my driver seat fill my mind. In fact, I just understood why I Am Legend gave me nightmares for weeks - the scene at 3:17 from this link can show you an exaggerated version of what I imagine happening to me when I see a two-legged road-sharing counterpart.

You want to know (yet) something else? Squire and I have been busy talking with the nice ladies at the financial aid office the last couple days. Since we are a family of three, we are filling out a form that helps them reassess our financial need - because we'll need quite a bit more for our living expenses than the single med school students. Squire won't really be allowed to work except for two months over the course of the next year (and then only one month the following.) And, since I won't be working outside the home so as to care for Lincoln - we will be living almost exclusively on student loans.

Probably half of you who are reading this thinking - oh yeah! No big deal! We do that! Pretty much every person in medical school does that! You'll eventually be making so much money it won't matter! But, playing around with numbers on this student loan repayment calculator yesterday evening only contributed to my sleepless night last night. (Funny how on the night you can't sleep, your baby sleeps soundly through the entire night - save one diaper change at six hours.) Let's just hypothetically say, that if we put all of our current monthly income (well, the monthly income we made when I was working at Costco too) towards what we think we'll be taking out for student loans, that we'd be in debt indefinitely because the interest would accrue faster than we could ever pay it back. Ahhh!!!!

I'm pretty confident that our income will be up substantially by the time Squire finishes residency, and the amount we suspect we'll be taking out doesn't include any grants or scholarships we'll receive. We're already  making a plan to beat down our debt as quickly as possible once we're making some money. But, I just look at this sweet little boy:
and, I worry. . . a lot. You know the feeling?


  1. Um, I worry about finances ALL the time. It's probably my biggest worry button. I don't know if you get government assistance, but we do, and it's such a blessing. Until my husband earns more money (a first year teacher at a private Catholic school is paying less than even the cheapest public school in the state) we will use whatever resources are available to us. Good luck. It WILL all work out.

  2. Before we started med school and were looking at loans the thought of how much we would have to take out made me sick! Now that we are in the midst of it all and living on all those loans I really don't think about it too much. Obviously we live on a tight budget and don't have a lot of extra money BUT for some reason it really isn't stressful. I am sure you have heard this but you do what you have to do and it will all pay off in the end. Almost every doctor has told us that paying back the student loans wasn't so bad...lets up they are telling the truth! PS. I second the government assistance especially for health insurance for the kids.

  3. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I agree, we have one more year until we start paying back the loans--I'm still in denial that it will be even remotely possible.

  4. Thanks for the empathizing (and advice) girls.

    @Leslee: I'm hoping I don't think about it too much these next four years either Leslee! I sure I'll lose a lot more sleep than I already have if I do.

    @Jeanette: Thanks for checking out my blog Jeanette - I'm glad to have made a new blogging friend! I'll be visiting your site again.

  5. Not to downplay the financial worries...but I'm totally right there with you on the fear of pedestrians!! Scary! My mom used to always tell me to keep my doors locked so scary people couldn't get in, but I never did until one time in MD when I was 19 a fuming Asian man opened my passenger door before I could lock it, and climbed over the seat and started yelling in my face in some other language! Oh. My. Gosh. I almost puked in the car I was so scared! I don't know what he was saying or what his intentions were, but fortunately some other nice pedestrian saw and grabbed the man out of my car so I never had to find out. Scarred for life!! All pedestrians might as well be terrorists in my mind now, and my doors are always locked!!



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