Saturday, June 27, 2015

Transition Shock

I have come to the conclusion that making transitions is an art - one which I haven't even remotely mastered.

Sometimes - especially during these transition times - life can be damn hard. Yes. And dam hard. Like, there are all these feelings, thoughts, emotions, and actions I've gotta let out and for whatever reason some kind of demon beavers are clogging everything up for me. Probably I am a demon beaver half the time. That made a whole lot of sense, I'm sure.

Maybe if I stopped looking at the figurative dams in my life right now, I'd see that I'm by a beautiful waterway, outside in the sunshine, soaking in more than enough vitamin D. And there's grass! Green, not-astro-turf GRASS! But for right now I'm just a little stuck in the mud and sticks of my own emotional nostalgia.

There is so much I want to blog about - too much. And each one of these deserves it's own sappy-happy well-thought-out post about how blessed we are. Here's the short list of stuff that has happened with our family since I blogged last on April 1st:
  • Squire graduated from medical school. WAAAHOOOO!!!!!
  • We made a trip up to Pocatello to look for a rental or home to buy.
  • We visited Squire's Dad, Grandparents Tripp and Cousin Blake and his wife Haley and kids along the way.
  • We bought a house - our very first house! It's a fixer-upper, but it's ours!
  • In a whirlwind, and with the generous help of friends and family, we made the move away from Tucson, 10 days earlier than planned. We had a nice little going away ice cream party with friends where I cried the night away.
  • We went to the magical world of Disneyland with my family for two days. It was the kids' first time. They all loved it, even Jocelyn. I'm still sleeping in to recover from it.
  • We stayed with my family for a couple weeks in Reno.
  • We moved up to Pocatello.
  • We went on a camp-out retreat with the ISU Family Medicine Residency people.
  • With help from my Dad, Squire built a pantry in our house. I primed and painted it over the course of a few nap times, and through a couple of nights. Zombie girl, here, now has a place for both her dishes and food.
  • We planted some flowers and plants in our back yard, and did quite a bit of yard work.
  • We've unpacked a whole lot of stuff in our house, (boy do we have a lot of STUFF! Argghhh!) but not quite enough to have a real settled feel.
  • We hosted a BBQ for the interns and their families at our house, even in the midst of moving/pantry-building craziness.
  • Squire attended residency orientation for the past two weeks.
  • Squire was given a white coat with his name embroidered on it at the graduation ceremony last night.
  • I have met about a billion people so far ('cuz that's how many people live in Pokey, dontcha know? - residency people/spouses, neighbors, ward members, ward leadership.) And they are all really nice. One family already had us over for dinner.
  • Squire and I are spending our last two days of freedom before his first residency rotation (OB/GYN) begins, trying to get some more stuff done around this house. Oh, and I'm writing this post. ;)
(I still can't find my camera, and my blasted phone won't let me send the pictures right now, so you'll just have to imagine all these things for the time being.)

There are so many opportunities available to me, here, right now: an amazing home school group, friends and support through the residency, book clubs, libraries with story times (not Miss Georgia's story time to be sure, but it's something), symphony membership, super cheap classes at ISU, beautiful land to hike and explore, local bands playing on campus, cheap movies, a local farm co-op, bowling alleys, free ethnic food cooking classes, Relief society activities, craft nights, swimming pools, swimming in nearby outdoor locations, free weekly Zumba/Yoga/running/hiking/biking groups, regular play groups in the park. . . And the people here? They know everything about everything I've barely read about: gardening, animal husbandry, hunting, canning, quilting, prepping, and so on and so forth. What to do? What to do?! So much to learn! So much to do! So many people to socialize with! So much literal and figurative growing to be done!!

Maybe I'll just climb back in bed? . . . I feel a little overwhelmed. 

I really don't have much to complain about. Probably what I'm about to say next deserves a #firstworldproblems distinction. But . . .

Right now, I miss the comfort of friends. I miss the comfort of the Tucson home I lived in for 4 years. I miss visiting my parents' home. I miss the comfort of a place I know (though, I'm very much loving the looks of Pocatello. Truly a sight for my sore Tucson eyes.) I miss the comfort of having a calling to do each week at church, and people to visit with there. I miss my grocery stores (though I don't miss the commute.) I miss all the familiarity. Squire is kind of gone a lot right now, and there's so much to do, and I'm kind of alone, with three crazy kids who are also loving our awesome backyard and the grass and at the same time asking me when we are going to go back to Tucson? And when can Lincoln marry Jenna, and Atley marry Hunter?

Right now - life is good. And overwhelming. And. damn. hard. And I'm still trying to figure out how and where to let open the floodgates.   

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