Wednesday, July 24, 2013

How to be TOTALLY miserable. . . (Part 1 of 2)

Tonight, I taught a lesson to the Young Women (ages 12-18) in my congregation a little lesson on "How to be Totally Miserable. . ." (I got some of my inspiration for the idea from this book by John Bytheway.) I thought I'd go ahead and share the Powerpoint and presentation I came up with here on the blog in case any of you readers out there feel like being miserable, too! ;)


The real key to this point, is that you never want to compare yourself to your past self. Only to others. Either to show off how much better you are or how much worse you are in comparison. Compare yourself with others and let that dictate how you feel about yourself. *Golden.*

Watch TV. Play angry birds on your iPhone. Sit on facebook all day (perfect for that last tip and comparing yourself to others! Eh?! Eh?!) Just sit. A lot. Yeah, that’s good. Hence – the whole potato thing.
If you should slip up and make a goal or two: focus on perfection instead of progress that you’re making. Then just stop trying after you don’t do everything perfectly the first time. It’s not worth it. Go back to being a potato.


Seriously - everything, even those so called "blessings" in life are so annoying. Don't consider the fact that flowers are more vibrant and mature with a little manure in their soil or that the rain helps them grow. And certainly don't think more about the positive than the negative in any given situation - not if you're trying to be miserable anyways.

This one's really important. Get angry about life. Drown yourself with meaningless work that overwhelms you and makes you both incapable and unwilling to spend time each day serving others. Even if you do have time because you've mastered that whole being a potato thing, just choose to think about yourself instead, and find a way to get mad that others aren't spending time thinking about how to make your life better for you while you're at it.

Don’t ever notice that when you have one finger pointed out at others, you have three pointed back your direction. Never own your part in anything! This point cannot be emphasized enough. Everything that is a problem in your life, is something out of your control. I had all the girls write down one of those things that bother them that they can't change at this point in the presentation. I told them to read it and think about it every day, and to put it somewhere prominent in their rooms so they can see it often.
 
Seriously - if it has eternal and lasting value, just forget about it. Gaining knowledge? Blah! Loving family ties? Blah! A close relationship with your Heavenly Father? Blah! What's on your body, and how much you've got in the bank: OBSESS OVER THEM!!

I mean, make a broken nail as catastrophic as the Titanic. Don’t look at the bigger picture to see that only one letter out of ten is having a problem that could be fixed. Just focus on how that one imperfection, RUINS EVERYTHING!! My little toddler man is really good at this. He practically skips in to a room holding something he knows he’s not supposed to play with. “C’mon buddy. Go put that back.” “WAAAAAAAA!” He grunts, he screams, he sobs, he trips and struggles as he slowly sludges along with all his might to get that object back because apparently that object gained about 500 lbs. in a matter of 10 seconds. Do that – about everything.

 
When someone is telling you something good that happened in their life, "I rocked that test! I got asked to prom! I am really happy!" If you like, you can choose to put on a face like this one in response, and even say, "Oh! Awesome! I'm soooo happy for you!!" But inside:


Make sure you look about like this. Tell yourself, "I deserved that! She didn't! I'm better! I worked harder! She's stupid! She must have gotten that by unethical means! I want what she has! Grrrrrr!!"


A couple more that were brought up at the activity last night were:
#1 You have to live with your family every day, so if you make it a point to fight with them and/or annoy them every day that could really help you be miserable.
#2: Don't have any friends. Actually, just isolate yourself from everyone but your computer in a dark room with depressing music.

This link from the Georgia Psychological Association has some good ideas on how to be miserable, with the research to back them up!

Any other great suggestions for being miserable that you could think to add? 

(Look out for part 2 of the presentation - to come soon! But not soon enough - I know.
The suspense is killing you. Literally. Stupid blog post.)

UPDATE: Read Part 2 here.

1 comment:

  1. I've two comments.

    First, "The real key to this point, is that you never want to compare yourself to your past self."-- Actually doing that can make you miserable... especially if you have success in your past and you're struggling in your present. I was highly successful making myself miserable in college when I thought about how everyone knew me in high school and how they all wrote "state champ" in my yearbook. When I went to college I had to start all over again and dwelling on that past helped make me miserable. I was "lucky" that I didn't focus on the fact that my life was on the path I wanted to be walking down-- that I had the opportunity to make new friends by starting over. It's a good thing I didn't see how my past didn't contribute to my present or I'd have been happier.

    The second thing that REALLY can make one miserable is putting things off until the last minute. Have chores to do before going to the water park? Wait 'till the last minute and miss out because your chores weren't done! Then, for ultimate misery, pass the blame-- it wasn't your fault the chores didn't do themselves! Have a paper due in a week? Waiting until the last minute really helps me think-- especially when I'm pulling my hair out in frustration as I try to get SOMETHING on the paper. Procrastination is a great way to ensure future misery now! =D

    This post made me laugh! Thanks for sharing. =)

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