Watch TV. Play angry birds on your iPhone. Sit on facebook all day (perfect for that last tip and comparing yourself to others! Eh?! Eh?!) Just sit. A lot. Yeah, that’s good. Hence – the whole potato thing.
Seriously - everything, even those so called "blessings" in life are so annoying. Don't consider the fact that flowers are more vibrant and mature with a little manure in their soil or that the rain helps them grow. And certainly don't think more about the positive than the negative in any given situation - not if you're trying to be miserable anyways.
I mean, make a broken nail as catastrophic as the Titanic. Don’t look at the bigger picture to see that only one letter out of ten is having a problem that could be fixed. Just focus on how that one imperfection, RUINS EVERYTHING!! My little toddler man is really good at this. He practically skips in to a room holding something he knows he’s not supposed to play with. “C’mon buddy. Go put that back.” “WAAAAAAAA!” He grunts, he screams, he sobs, he trips and struggles as he slowly sludges along with all his might to get that object back because apparently that object gained about 500 lbs. in a matter of 10 seconds. Do that – about everything.
When someone is telling you something good that happened in their life, "I rocked that test! I got asked to prom! I am really happy!" If you like, you can choose to put on a face like this one in response, and even say, "Oh! Awesome! I'm soooo happy for you!!" But inside:
Make sure you look about like this. Tell yourself, "I deserved that! She didn't! I'm better! I worked harder! She's stupid! She must have gotten that by unethical means! I want what she has! Grrrrrr!!"
A couple more that were brought up at the activity last night were:
#1 You have to live with your family every day, so if you make it a point to fight with them and/or annoy them every day that could really help you be miserable.
#2: Don't have any friends. Actually, just isolate yourself from everyone but your computer in a dark room with depressing music.
This link from the Georgia Psychological Association has some good ideas on how to be miserable, with the research to back them up!
Any other great suggestions for being miserable that you could think to add?
(Look out for part 2 of the presentation - to come soon! But not soon enough - I know.
The suspense is killing you. Literally. Stupid blog post.)
UPDATE: Read Part 2 here.